


a question of morality

by eskalations



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Hospitalization, Ishval Civil War, Post-Canon, Post-Promised Day, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24682897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eskalations/pseuds/eskalations
Summary: Both of them had committed such violent acts in Ishval – was it really fair for them to benefit from the fallen?(Day 5 "Picture Prompt" - Royai Week 2020)
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 12
Kudos: 37





	a question of morality

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Andddd here's Day 5 of Royai Week "Picture Prompt". This one was actually the hardest to write, but I think it's just because I'm running low on steam after writing so much this week. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!

The hospital was teeming with patients after the events of the Promised Day.

Riza wasn't surprised to see many soldiers, bruised and bandaged, walking the halls – but could hardly believe the number of civilians who were mingling amongst them. It seemed no one had gotten out unscathed that hellish day.

She carefully led Roy to a bench in the hospital gardens – his whines for fresh air getting to be too much for her to ignore. Riza had known him long enough to know that the man didn't do stagnant well. Procrastination? Absolutely, he's the biggest procrastinator she's ever known. However, even though he puts on a front to appear as though he doesn't care, she is well aware that he's not truly lazy.

Thus, the reason for their visit to the gardens.

The sniper couldn't deny that she herself was beginning to feel cooped up in their shared hospital room. It had been okay for the first few days – but after a week without any change of scenery, she was starting to get antsy. Despite the still tender wound on her flesh, Riza would do anything for a little bit of exercise and some fresh air.

Now parallel to the bench, Riza assisted the Colonel in sitting carefully on its edge. She had to hide a laugh when he hissed in discomfort, the heat of the seat seeping through his thin hospital garb.

"Careful, sir – it's hot."

"Your timing is impeccable, Lieutenant."

Riza gave him a small smile, though she knew he could not see it. He had told her a few days ago to not stop giving him her customary looks on account of him being blind, since he knew her well enough to know what kind of face she was making to his comments. She was sure he could tell she was smiling now as she sat down next to him.

"I can tell you're smiling."

_Ah, she was correct._

"Yes, sir," She responded, settling against the hard, wooden back of the bench. It wasn't comfy but it sure was better than sitting inside. She almost laughed when Roy did the same thing as her. "I'm just happy to finally be outside."

"I kept on telling yo –"

"The doctors advised against it, sir. Just for the first week of recovery."

The petulant look on the Colonel's face looked like it belonged more on a twelve-year-old boy rather than a thirty-year-old man. It was the same expression he had given her all week when being reminded of his limitations. Well, at least the limitations that were a result of wounds that were meant to heal. His blindness was a whole other story.

They had really begun to think that this was going to be their life from now on. That Roy was going to be blind for the rest of his days and that she was going to assist him. While he had certainly been studying with the intent of possibly becoming Fuhrer one day, they were both well aware that another possibility was looking much more plausible than the goal which he had once been so close to reaching.

_Honorable Discharge._

Those two words were only second to 'Dishonorable Discharge' in a soldier's mind as the worse things one could possibly hear. No one wanted the choice to be taken away from them of whether they wanted to continue or end their career in the military or not. When the day came – a soldier wanted to make that decision himself.

This had certainly not been a part of their plan.

Though their team had been supportive over the past week – helping the Colonel study and prepare for a dream that may not come to be – Riza could tell that they were beginning to have their doubts. Breda had shared with her that he had dug deep into the archives and hadn't been able to find anything about soldiers with such severe disabilities being allowed to participate in active duty. Even Falman, with all his knowledge and rationale, told her that it was highly likely Mustang would be receiving a letter any day telling him that he had been discharged.

The letter never came – but Dr. Knox did.

The visit from the doctor was a big reason they felt the need to escape the confines of their hospital room and enjoy some fresh air. It was easier to think out here. It was easier to talk as well.

The area of the garden which they had chosen to sequester themselves off in was relatively left untouched by other patients. The only view in front of them was that of an eggshell wall with a long row of windows, looking into the bottom floor maternity ward of the hospital. Most of the soldiers were convening on the large field behind them, catching up with one another and comparing injuries.

For all intents and purposes, they were well and truly alone.

"So, what do you think I should do?"

The sound of his voice had Riza turning her head. She could tell by the way his bangs fell flat against his forehead, that his hair was starting to get greasy from lack of washing. She decided to voice her thoughts to him in an attempt to lighten the mood rather than answer his question honestly.

"Well, sir – I think you are in desperate need of a bath."

He did laugh at this. "I'm terrified of those nurses. I heard them arguing over who was going to get the pleasure of 'sponging' me."

"Your last hospital stay you certainly wouldn't have been opposed to it."

"Yes, well I could see."

The way he had said it wasn't rude, but Riza could tell there was a bit of wistfulness in his tone. She sighed heavily, wishing she could take her words back. She had meant to lighten the mood, not dampen it.

"Of course, you could always assist me again."

The Lieutenant could feel her cheeks heating up at his words, the blush having nothing to do with the sun above them. She tried to erase the memories of the assistance she had given him a few nights before. The night nurses were making their rounds and both soldiers knew it would be approximately two hours before they would make their way to their room again. They decided to use this time wisely.

Roy had asked her shyly whether she would mind giving him some assistance with cleaning himself. The nurses had tried to coax him into letting them do it, but he had blatantly refused all their advances. The Roy who could see would have probably basked in all the attention he was getting from the female hospital staff – however, this Roy felt much too vulnerable to trust anyone besides his Lieutenant.

He felt embarrassed asking any of his men to help him bathe, so Hawkeye seemed like the best option. He trusted her above all else and it wasn't anything she hadn't seen before, though they would both vehemently deny that fact. Despite knowing her well enough to imagine the look on her face, he had wished so passionately in that moment that he could see her expression in full color.

Riza had agreed, but that had been four days ago and he imagined he was beginning to stink. Surely, she didn't want to share a room with a smelly man?

"Yes, sir."

Her answer drew him back from the memory, her voice so quiet he had to strain to hear – and that was saying something with his new and improved hearing. He fought the grin that threatened to find its way to his features – but it was a losing battle.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I know I can always count on you."

_A pause._

"So what do you _really_ think I should do?"

The question had Riza releasing another sigh. He was not going to let this go and she couldn't really blame him. She understood his hesitation in relation to the Philosopher's Stone. Both of them had committed such violent acts in Ishval – was it really fair for them to benefit from the fallen?

"I don't know, sir." She answered honestly, looking down at her folded hands. She knew he normally depended on her to be his moral compass, but this was not going to be something she could decide for him. "I think your reasoning was sound and I understood what was saying…"

"I hear an inaudible 'but' at the end of that sentence."

"But," She continued, emphasizing the word for good measure. This had a small grin appearing on her commanding officer's features. "I still understand your hesitance. It goes against everything you and I have fought for. We agreed we would never use the Ishvalans again for our own personal gain, yet here we are."

"I know," Roy crossed his arms and leaned back further– a pensive look appearing on his features. "That's what I was thinking, too – but what good will I be to the Ishvalans if I'm blind and discharged from the military?"

It was the first time he had mentioned being discharged.

"You would find a way, sir." She assured him, placing a warm hand on his arm in support. "You've been studying so hard. I'm sure whether you were in the military or not, you would find some way to make amends with Ishval."

"So…because it's possible, I shouldn't use the Stone?"

"I didn't say that," Riza clarified, removing her hand and placing it back in her lap. She didn't want him to make his decision based off what she thought – this was his choice. "While it may be possible, it might not be the best option. Yes, you may be able to do something for Ishval while blind – but would you be able to help them on the scope you would if you had your sight?"

Roy was quiet at that, his grey eyes still trained on the ground. The sight made her sad, so she turned her face back towards the windows lining the wall.

Inside the hospital, she could see a new mother being wheeled down the hall by a nurse with her husband and preschool aged children following by her side. In her arms, she cradled a newborn, their fists poking out of their blankets and reaching for the air. The scene warmed Riza's heart and she wished the Colonel could see such a wonderful thing.

That's when she realized, he could. If he used the Stone, he would be able to see all the good in the world around them. He would be able to see the fruits of his labor in Ishval. He would be able to accomplish his dreams.

Nothing would bring the Ishvalans back, so why ruin the future Ishvalans' chances of a successful rebuild by remaining stuck in the past?

"I think you're right."

It appeared Roy had been thinking the same thing as her.

"…as always."

His addition made her laugh – a good, jovial one for once. Though the stitches in her neck pulled at the action, the smile did not leave her face.

"That's why I'm here, sir."

"Yes…in the hospital."

"By your side."

Roy smiled at her warm words, his arm stretching out to wrap around her shoulders. The Lieutenant froze under his touch, amber eyes glancing nervously back at the people milling about in the gardens. Everyone was too busy in their own affairs though to notice the two invalids sitting on the bench.

"Come on, Lieutenant," The Colonel insisted, gently squeezing her upper arm. He tried to pull her towards him again, but she still would not budge. "As it is right now, I'm set to be honorably discharged. No one is going to look at us and think that we deserve anymore misfortune than we've already had."

Riza huffed, not exactly happy with the situation. She didn't want him getting in trouble when his sight was about to be returned. However, there was such a look of earnest need in his eyes and in the way he held her shoulder, that she found herself leaning towards him, head resting against his own. Roy smiled at her actions, holding her a bit tighter.

He needed this comfort. The decision he was going to make wasn't going to be easy and he knew the guilt would eat him alive, but it needed to be done. Holding Riza close, feeling her alive and well, somehow made everything just a little bit easier.

"If we get in trouble – it's all on you, sir."

Roy laughed, turning his head to bury his nose in her silky, blonde hair.

"Well there's only one thing worse than an honorable discharge and it's a dishonorable one – and, right now, I think I'm willing to take my chances."


End file.
